Black Women Please Answer This?
by William  - 2 Years and 12 Months ago.

Why do you complain about not enough good black men, when in fact they are right in front of you? Is it because every black guy needs to look like a football player with the height and muscles. I just don't get it, I mean a successful man, with a college education, no kids, and average physical attributes get overlook, because women got to have this Boris Dojo look. I mean I have thick skin and would like to have someone I can relate to, but its chipping away at me a lil. What do the rest of us, good men, got to do to date you???


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Lakeisha   - 2 Years and 12 Months ago

Alot of women are closed minded. They have a certain type of man they are looking for and until they find him, they will remain single or have meaningless relationships with. I tell my sister all the time that you need to stop waiting for your Mr. Right because you are going to miss your blessing. The Bible says a man finds a woman and he findth a good thing. It's not inteneded for a woman to go find her husband, he needs to find you and he may not come in the package you are expecting, so you need to keep your eyes open for all deliveries. I tell her, just because he doesn't have a degree, doesn't make him a bad person. I know several men, who have no degree, but has been on the job and worked there way up the ranks and their income is right up there. Money doesn't make him ideal for you, nor does that bring you happiness. I told her she needs to give the average joe the same chance she will give the executive. How is your husband going to find you, if you are hiding from him, behind what your Mr. Right should be?

Ahsharah Rawchaa   - 2 Years and 12 Months ago

Shalam William:

The answer to the relationship problems between black men and women can be found in the Bible. We as God's people have gone away from following our God and established our own righteousness. We do what "we" think is right instead of asking God.

The first place you want to get an answer is God, He created you and the Black woman so He ultimately knows what will hold your relationship together. Consider our fore father and fore mother Abraham and Sarah. Look at their relationship (Read about them in Genesis)

As a man you put your focus on Serving the Lord your God, Jesus Christ, in Spirit and in Truth and the Lord will give you a virtuous woman which is a blessing. Read Proverbs 31: Have you ever considered looking for a woman with these attributes vs a light woman who is only concerned with pleasing the flesh and the cares of this world?

Check out - http://www.thecomforter.info

Tiffany   - 2 Years and 12 Months ago

I would love to know where exactly are these college educated, no kids gentlemen reside. Please lets be real. You can not tell me that 80% of the black women who have children alone are going though it by choice. Seriously.

Tifffany   - 2 Years and 12 Months ago

Oh, and let me respond to this is another way. Are the black women you refer to out of your league. Are you looking for the Halle Berry type even when you are the not even average looking. I not trying to be mean but, I have witness every day guys with every day looks trying to capture the heart of a above average woman. So may be you need to check your "standards" of what your ideal woman is. If looks it the number one requirement, then there is your problem.

William   - 2 Years and 11 Months ago

Actually, no I don't go by looks. Not to be harsh, but I have seen some darkskin women turn down good guys and also a lil on the chubby side too. I am talking acme face average women here. But it doesn't matter though. However, I want to make a formal appology to the black women for what we, as black men has done. I still love you and I'll never give up on you b/c I was raised by two loving parents. Thus, I been around black love my whole life watching them work together. Thats what our generation need.

Prettygurl   - 2 Years and 11 Months ago

Lakeisha that is a wonderful response and that is my motto....man seeks his wife. I have questioned a few married men on why they got married. The number one response is: we've been together for a while, #2 security; he has a good, she has a good job...buy a home together. #3 they became pregnant. All these married I've questioned have tried to sleep with me, so they clearly don't respect their wives or honor their marriage, they only married to satisfy their spouse.

As far as women not appreciating a good man, I think that starts with self. If a woman doesn't know her own value or have self respect she will settle for men not deserving of her love and affection. Women have to learn to be patient and let their man find them.

Ebony   - 2 Years and 10 Months ago

If women would know WHO they are first, then seek a mate, I think they would have a greater appreciation for black men. I've been fortunate to date many, successful and wonderful black men. I don't go for the "Boris Kudjoe" type, because I don't have time for a competition. Last time I dated someone who thought they were cuter than me...it was a disaster.

Kim   - 2 Years and 9 Months ago

William,
maybe your problem is right in front of you and you just don't realize it. You wrote: Actually, no I don't go by looks. Not to be harsh, but I have seen some darkskin women turn down good guys and also a lil on the chubby side too. Dark skin makes a black woman less than? Come on man. That is some sick mess right there.

William   - 2 Years and 9 Months ago

Kim I was describing and telling the "TRUTH" the truth hurts sometime. I was criticizing dark-skin black women, hence "Not to be harsh." Second, I like all shades and no human are less than the other black, purple, blue, or whatever. Ok granted, some brothas might have gotten offended about getting turned down by dark-skin women.

My thoughts are they can date who ever they want. Thats not the issue. The issue is that good black men get overlooked by shallow requirements. As black people we go by the "how it looks," phenomenon whether its clothes, cars, houses which there is nothing wrong with having nice things, but people are more dynamic than material things; furthermore, most of us don't realize it at all.

And this I need a "thug" craze is just amazing. I don't know how many times I heard this. When he breaks your heart the very next thing is said, "ALL BLACK MEN ARE DOGGS" look at your selection first of all. We have a long way to go........

William   - 2 Years and 9 Months ago

I meant I "wasn't criticizing dark-skin women"

Keith   - 2 Years and 8 Months ago

Stumbled on this searching for trying to understand why Black women have such a love for Jesus. Wow! It's amazing the amount of Black women who on one hand claim to be educated but on the other hand seek a man who
would actually bow down to the sickness of that is the Christ cult.

How do you expect to attract a real man when you don't even know your history? Ever heard of Horus? Isis?

Jesus is merely the latest manifestation of a turn-of-the-century Sun-worshipping cult!

You'd think the rape, slavery, and lynchng we suffered on the plantations was enough to teach us to NEVER again trust anything somebody peddled to us yet I see sisters actually pointing other sisters to indoctrinate themselves in the Jesus-myth and look to God for guidance; worse still, raising up legions of young Black men to an image of a white/blue-eyed man as the 'standard' for him to achieve.

Do you really expect a Black man who aspires to be something more than his father was; one who values education and science; whose heroes are Fredrick Douglas, Marcus Garvey, H.H. Harrison, to set those things aside so you can waste his time with a social contruct that was used to pacify him while his very manhood and legacy was robbed of him?

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Ahsharah Rawchaa   - 2 Years and 7 Months ago

Keith... for someone so "educated" I'm surprised that you still really think that the blond hair blue eyed image of Christ is the real true image. Have you read Revelations 1:14-15? Please do, and curb all that chit chat about my Lord and Savior. The time is coming when all you haters of God- Christ will be shut down. I bet you don't even read the Bible let alone understand it.

http://www.thecomforter.info/main/

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Proud Black Women   - 2 Years and 7 Months ago

As a black women who knows her self worth and values, I do not believe no website, book, or Oprah lol has the answers about where all the good black men are. I had good and bad men and what women fail to realize is that you cannot blame the man. You are in control of ur choices in life and if you come across a bad man, understand there are numerous fish in the sea. Kick his ass to the curb and move on. I agree that a woman has to be self-concious, and confident to know that a man do not make you or define you.

Hattie   - 1 Years and 5 Months ago

I am up early this morning working on my blog and decided to search for other black bloggers.
I thought I was alone in my thoughts about black men and black women. Evidently not. I want to offer a different persepective (maybe). I was divorced in 1999.

Brothers and sisters I have been having a Ball! ever since. I travel a little but am based mostly in the south. I find that there are a LOT of lonely, good, hardworking black men out there. You guys must be in the twenty something age group. (let me know) because I get asked out all the time. I go on shopping trips, dinner dates, caberets, parties, picnics, cookouts, etc. etc. etc. AND I don't sleep with them. I have to change my number sometimes because I can't do my work without all the phone calls from men who want to go out.
Do I look like Halle? No. Am I rich. far from it. Own a pole in my basement? not hardly. Want to know my secret? Here it goes.
I LISTEN.
They talk about themselves, their families, their ex relationships, their fears, their failures, thier desires to be loved. Everything. JUST LISTEN.
What else? I am 52 years old. I look 32. I keep myself fit. Keep up with sports and politics so that I have something to talk about other than myself and what I want. I can cook and have left my baggage long ago. I've never understood frogs who look for a prince. Ladies keep your standards high. Extremely high. You are probably sitting home waiting for Getter or LL Cool J to call. Keep waiting while I look for a pair of shoes to wear with my outfit tonight to go out to dinner. I am having a ball! There are many good black men out there. I guess I'll have to keep them all to myself. -chow

Pearlene   - 1 Years and 3 Months ago

Perhaps we need to look outside the box. There are other ethnicities and skin colors. There is a big world out there, and so many men to choose from.

The Sphinx   - 1 Years and 1 Months ago

All you have to do is show up! Where are you? Because all I've seen is the player type that isn't looking for a relationship - only sex. Or the guy with 5 kids at 29 years old, who has a baby mama everywhere he turns, is not married and not ashamed either. The college educated dude who thinks his ish doesn't stink just because he has a bit of paper. He won't even look at a college educated black female. Maybe it's just a midwest thing, but black relationships have definitely declined...

We raise simiiar questions on our website. I'd love to hear your input:
www.passmeashovel.com

RL Taylor   - 1 Years and 1 Months ago

This is a wonderful and relevant discussion. As an author I saw it to be appropriate to write a fictional book about this topic. Check it out at http://www.rltayloronline.com. Great topic!

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